He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
