My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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