I cockslap morals
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
