you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
