i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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