heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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