dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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