you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the day after is always just damage control
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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