we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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