dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
