Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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