Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
