You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I want to fling myself into the sun
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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