Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
