Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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