You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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