i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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