Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
