Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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