i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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