Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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