I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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