I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
