my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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