biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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