Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize