shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
