Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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