yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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