I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
