he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
