i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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