I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize