i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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