Whod you bang
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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