She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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