Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
vagina is talking i cant
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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