Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize