i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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