people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
