Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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