Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
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i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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