apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
