dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
