Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
