I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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