i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
