love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
