you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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