Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
