Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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