he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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