I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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