did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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