so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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