you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
