Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
