Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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