I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize