So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
