Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
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Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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