I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize