I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
